inquiétude inévitable

all eyes

2009-09-14T00:14:00.001-07:00

We all seek some form of validation. Whether it's someone laughing at your dry jokes, your mom telling you she's proud of you, or a wink from a stranger.

Tonight at work I met a man, Earl, who considers himself an exhibitionist. I knew this man was special, (special is a euphemism for weird, kooky, etc.) when he immediately stated after I poured his coke that he quit drinking a year ago, cold turkey. He did it in a rather odd, rushed manner. Next thing I know he is showing me a flyer for the documentary short film he just screened, that was about him. I scanned the CUFF blurb and realized that Earl is into some kinky stuff.

I was very conscientious that he wanted a reaction from me, but quite frankly I've pretty much seen and heard it all. He was extremely enthusiastic and forward to share with me his penchant for getting aroused whilst posing nude. I mentioned that when I was in college I did nude modeling for figure drawing classes, and I sketched models in art school. I understand that sometimes men just can't hide their excitement; and the next thing you know there's a very awkward perpendickular angle you must now incorporate into your sketch. I also mentioned a piece that Dash Snow did where he had several different men 'finish' on a huge canvas with the words, "How much talent does it really take to come on the New York Post, anyway?" He was unfamiliar with Dash Snow's work, and yet became visibly sad when I mentioned he died this summer. Earl really thought he could work with Dash Snow. Another topic I brought up with Earl was an article I read in the NYTimes about an orgasm commune in San Fran. Run by a slightly feminist woman helping women find peace, confidence, and pleasure in having at least one orgasm day.

Several times throughout the conversation Earl told me, "That's hot" or "Have you thought about posing nude again, but for a photographer?". No Earl, I have not thought about doing porn. Although I truly don't think he sees it as porn, more so artistic expression or just being naked and free. However, I'm sure he's just an old perv.

The other odd thing that comes with this already peculiar man is that he is a huge Bible banging Baptist. I suppose this isn't too much of a shocker, I feel as if I've read about a similar man or woman in a Dear Dan Savage article . The best/weird part was at the end of our conversation Earl gave me a hand written note that said,
" Earl Smith
630-XXX-XXXX
CELL 708-XXX-XXXX
NUDE MODEL
VERY INTO EXHIBITIONISM
FOR FREE, IN FRONT OF WOMEN GROUP
LOVE MASTURBATION..."

I will spare the salacious end to the note, but he closed it all with a big puffy exclamation point.

Before leaving he asked one more time if I've thought about posing nude for a photographer. I said, "Earl, there was a time in my life when I needed existential validation for my body, but now I'm more open to/with myself and have less of a need to be open to others."

Never was I creeped out nor did I feel sorry for him. I think we all want attention.
Earl just wants it while he's naked.

waiting away

2009-07-21T13:43:00.000-07:00

hushed tones in an ear that used to belong to you. it's still familiar and you're fond, but possession is lost. whispering in that ear before meant a longing desire of some sort. now it's to inform or make a nervous joke/observation.
tide changing relations. the morph to friends and so on, you wait and wait til you can be comfortable. then when the moment arrives it seems so seamless and uneventful. former anxiety falls and ease sets in.

clouds roll by

2009-06-24T15:36:00.000-07:00

i've been attending more shows in the past month than i have in probably the past year.
this is good.
this is how it used to be, 2-3 shows a week on the regular. steamy, cramped house shows in some one's kitchen or bedroom. woozy from the heat, sharing nods and glances/ interspersed with smiles and glee.

last night i had the pleasure of seeing silver pines. my knowledge of this band was solely based on one song, and that they hailed from austin.

no pretense on style or coordinating color palate, just simple slowness. my comparisons lean towards mazzy star with a wee bit of beach house, but you can decide for yourself.
with this sanguinly swealtering heat and syrupy steam, it forces me to choose still-quiet-languid songs. bill callahan being another show i've attended recently and a musician that falls into the aforementioned category.

life is a blast when you know what you're doin...

2009-05-20T21:03:00.000-07:00

start:
reborn: journals and notebooks, 1947-1963

finish:
blue highways
scent of desire

summer i missed you. missed you so.

sin nombre, was a film that made me cover my eyes, clinch my teeth, and wipe away some tears. throughout i could almost smell the fear and desperation in the principles. one of the silent characters that resonated most with me (aside from the trains and scenery) were the the tattoos. thier integral role of identifying gangs, despite current adherence, remain a caustic mark.
reminded me of a tattoo artist that donated time and ink to cover up old gang tattoos to retired/former members.

during a quiet moment when the removal of a tattoo signifies the resignation of the main character's past- was poignancy at its best.

wish i remembered to bring my camera to my dream last night

2009-05-10T18:43:00.000-07:00

to do list

watch:
i am cuba (again)
the creak runs red
jeanne dielman
unknown passage: the dead moon story

go see:
new modern wing
aquarium

get out of town

poppy-petalled metaphysics

2009-04-30T07:52:00.000-07:00

recently my rad and talented buddy, stiff bequeathed a blog to me that posts old 7"s that t-totally hark back to my youths.
not really into them now, but this ep/album was pretty much on heavy rotation when i was 19.

in other news, remember this lady?
well she's all grown up and got herself an MFA!!! super proud of her!!! and her work is totally majestical. seeeeeee:

evermore

2009-03-15T15:12:00.000-07:00

i recall my mom reading to me, at a rather young age 'the raven'. i've always appreciated her insistence to include culture in a multitude of mediums in my upbringing.
that is why when i was watching this and heard this poem by poe it perked my ears and warmed my heart.

I

Hear the sledges with the bells -
Silver bells!
What a world of merriment their melody foretells!
How they tinkle, tinkle, tinkle,
In the icy air of night!
While the stars that oversprinkle
All the heavens seem to twinkle
With a crystalline delight;
Keeping time, time, time,
In a sort of Runic rhyme,
To the tintinnabulation that so musically wells
From the bells, bells, bells, bells,
Bells, bells, bells -
From the jingling and the tinkling of the bells.

II

Hear the mellow wedding bells -
Golden bells!
What a world of happiness their harmony foretells!
Through the balmy air of night
How they ring out their delight!
From the molten-golden notes,
And all in tune,
What a liquid ditty floats
To the turtle-dove that listens, while she gloats
On the moon!
Oh, from out the sounding cells
What a gush of euphony voluminously wells!
How it swells!
How it dwells
On the Future! -how it tells
Of the rapture that impels
To the swinging and the ringing
Of the bells, bells, bells,
Of the bells, bells, bells, bells,
Bells, bells, bells -
To the rhyming and the chiming of the bells!

III

Hear the loud alarum bells -
Brazen bells!
What a tale of terror, now, their turbulency tells!
In the startled ear of night
How they scream out their affright!
Too much horrified to speak,
They can only shriek, shriek,
Out of tune,
In a clamorous appealing to the mercy of the fire,
In a mad expostulation with the deaf and frantic fire,
Leaping higher, higher, higher,
With a desperate desire,
And a resolute endeavor
Now -now to sit or never,
By the side of the pale-faced moon.
Oh, the bells, bells, bells!
What a tale their terror tells
Of despair!
How they clang, and clash, and roar!
What a horror they outpour
On the bosom of the palpitating air!
Yet the ear it fully knows,
By the twanging
And the clanging,
How the danger ebbs and flows;
Yet the ear distinctly tells,
In the jangling
And the wrangling,
How the danger sinks and swells,
By the sinking or the swelling in the anger of the bells -
Of the bells,
Of the bells, bells, bells, bells,
Bells, bells, bells -
In the clamor and the clangor of the bells!

IV

Hear the tolling of the bells -
Iron bells!
What a world of solemn thought their monody compels!
In the silence of the night,
How we shiver with affright
At the melancholy menace of their tone!
For every sound that floats
From the rust within their throats
Is a groan.
And the people -ah, the people -
They that dwell up in the steeple,
All alone,
And who tolling, tolling, tolling,
In that muffled monotone,
Feel a glory in so rolling
On the human heart a stone -
They are neither man nor woman -
They are neither brute nor human -
They are Ghouls:
And their king it is who tolls;
And he rolls, rolls, rolls,
Rolls
A paean from the bells!
And his merry bosom swells
With the paean of the bells!
And he dances, and he yells;
Keeping time, time, time,
In a sort of Runic rhyme,
To the paean of the bells,
Of the bells -
Keeping time, time, time,
In a sort of Runic rhyme,
To the throbbing of the bells,
Of the bells, bells, bells -
To the sobbing of the bells;
Keeping time, time, time,
As he knells, knells, knells,
In a happy Runic rhyme,
To the rolling of the bells,
Of the bells, bells, bells -
To the tolling of the bells,
Of the bells, bells, bells, bells,
Bells, bells, bells -
To the moaning and the groaning of the bells.

paper crane garland

2009-03-07T16:37:00.000-08:00

march:
my first (and perhaps only) visit to a sensory deprivation tank
hockey game
crippling lackadaisical-ness
constant pursuit of equanimity
green tea creme brulee
continual indecision on what to do/where to go for vacation
santa fe
in my ears:
goodie '94

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

cadence of uncertainty

2009-02-16T17:36:00.001-08:00

going from 0-60 in a matter of days.
trying to make sense of it all in haste, rash decisions- not my preferred method.

all i can listen to is calm music, anything over 80bpm gets me jumpy.
studying is my new favorite activity, well sorta.

it's all really a blur actually.

to process is a bitch.

sometimes we get it right, and its ok if it takes us a bit

i only hear what i want

2009-02-11T17:39:00.000-08:00

photo by: jason lazarus

not exactly sure what the stars say about my current station, but from what i glean my recent friend pool is stuck in revolving door mode. not to say i am loosing friends emotionally, more so geographically. one to the west, one soon to the east, and i stay firmly in the middle. with my loses i've also had some gains which is exciting, but also leaves me a bit anxious. establishing trust with a new pal is something that takes time and intuition. my inherent nature is to divulge and expound at length about my goings on, but then i realize that this person is new to my sphere and i don't want to scare him or her off. my tendency (as i often say) is to tell everyone down to the lady at stanley's produce mart what my business is, "and why for the love of god did he wink at me? what does it all meaaaaan???!". unbiased and unabashed are my two favorite forms of advice. perhaps that's why my solicitation bears no filter as to whom the receiver is at times.

is privacy something you develop or innately possess?

if you don't know, now you know...

2009-01-27T10:59:00.001-08:00

instead of listing 25 things about myself that are ultimately/unnecessarily self indulgent and lead me to being increasingly self conscious. i've decided to compose a mix of 23 songs that have perhaps:
A. played a huge role in my life
B. the title or lyrics sum up a feeling or instance that i would never be able to do so in my own words
C. i have a physical reaction (good or bad) to this song when i hear it
D. i will go to my grave loving this song

it's 23 songs b/c i will give two non song details about myself below:

1. certain smells have brought me to tears because of their capacity to remind me of a person or place.
2. music sometimes/always expresses me more than anything else i can think of, hence my snobbery.
3-25. enjoy: http://www.filedropper.com/aljsummedup

when the dream came, i held my breath

2009-01-04T22:54:00.001-08:00

finally over my cold. minor as it was, my lack of olfactory stimuli leaves me feeling as if one hand is tightly tied behind my back. smell after all is the strongest of them all.

fondest memories from my break:
bax and sadie playing french bingo- "le moto!!!"
waking up in brooklyn with snow outside the window and music for airports lulling me back to sleep...
a metric ton of glitter in accompaniment with the phosphorescent fellas, b.g., hearts revolution at the stroke of midnight, and the k&m FTW- NYE 2009!!

just try not get all mushy listening to this:
swedes do it better

property of complacancy

2008-12-26T19:20:00.000-08:00

of the chaos that is my family during the holidays, you realize that your/my family is much like most. scattered, heated, but intrinsically humble and loving. awkward at its best and consistently self conscience much like high school or summer camp. all in all, caring and wholeheartedly earnest and determined.

sober and calm. i wouldn't have it any other way. big barrels of laughing and doubled over with antidotes.

in my absence

2008-12-13T22:42:00.001-08:00

i've found that the word 'puss' in swedish is actually very sweet:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1139797

the french, play head games like the rest of us:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0814786

i need these bands cooing in my ears

&

"with every good-bye you learn."

tis tru

2008-12-13T22:36:00.001-08:00

tuscadero "holidays r hell"

why i love the silver fox: autumn in atlanta

2008-11-18T09:30:00.002-08:00

"I seem to be enjoying it too much - for example - on my way here, I stopped by the wondrous ginko trees at Peachtree Battle and collected 100's of golden leaves for Saralee in Miami. She makes bookmarks for her students because they don't know about leaves changing color in autumn ..."

sunrise/sunset

2008-11-05T07:30:00.000-08:00

couldn't help but get a little misty as the song 'stamping ground' came on the ol liondre as i walked into the polling booth yesterday.

deep guns

2008-10-24T18:05:00.000-07:00

'if you've never wanted to kill your mate, you've never been in love.'
c. rock

i heard that quote on the radio this morning... wait i should come clean on this. i listen the the most absolutely asinine radio program in the morning while i get ready for work. no really. so ridiculous and indulgent that i won't say exactly which station it is ---but it's on the wrong end of the dial.
so, i heard a comedy bit on the radio about (spouses mostly) relationships, and this quote is what resonated most with me. from all the stories i've heard about breakups and falling in love --- the notion of wanting to kill the person you're with made the most sense. call me morbid, but it's a very black and white concept for such a grey emotion/verb etc.
recently i had a long conversation with a dear friend about love and how it's such an irrational emotion. you do the most mentally unbalanced things, all without reservation. this friend who is one of the more logical and sensible people i know, mentioned his current love and how he felt feelings of rage and disdain when certain topics (of the jealous variety) came up.
IT IS chaotic and messy and hopeless and splattered and complicated and twisted and pure and simple and sordid... but i can't say i know what that feels like. it has escaped me.
that's why i question mating for life or marriage. is love a social confine that was invented to keep us on a path to procreation? or is it really just this idea/feeling that happens, and is there for no good reason?

'don't be the magician be magic'

2008-10-19T20:29:00.000-07:00

self diagnosis:
magical thinking

on another completely seperate note... go rent the movie control. finally got around to watching it this weekend. sweet, sublime and an achingly poignant portrait of the plight. the plight, that is, settling down too early in life--- then realizing you are in fact NOT with the one you should be with and realizing you're eternally screwed (anyone know a good divorce lawyer?) with this person. AND now you have this child...
ian, sufferer of epileptic fits and a condition known as complacency.
are we supposed to be with just one person our whole life? is it in our nature?

why i love my classmates: reason #1

2008-10-05T15:29:00.000-07:00

How did triumphal arches serve the Roman Empire?

"Dude!!! arches were the bee's knee's, the pirates patch, a box to a hobo.... the arch could easily span like 10 times more than a pair of columns, that's like a thousand babies laying head to toe in the middle of an expressway. The arch put Roams it's political point of view, in a physical mass or object. You look at the arch you you think "wow, these guy's aren't playing" and Don't get me wrong, i love columns but the arch is amazing."

and in the morning comes...

2008-10-04T18:18:00.000-07:00

you don't need to be so honest

if life were only just:

2008-10-02T22:02:00.000-07:00

vs.

all signs point to...

2008-10-02T19:55:00.000-07:00

yes, yes you are.

timely a trip to the pnw.
siped a cider upon my return.
the casual calm i had picked up yonder,
quickly dissolved by midday wednesday.

on the farm, every friday
on the farm, it's rabbit pie day,
so, every friday that ever comes along,
i get up early and sing this little song
run rabbit - run rabbit - run! run! run!

history of architecture//week 4

2008-09-23T12:25:00.000-07:00

pole

forgot about good ol pole. it's like theanine for my ears.

gross

2008-09-22T12:32:00.000-07:00

gospel

2008-09-17T21:09:00.000-07:00

history of architecture/// soundtrack///

2008-09-14T15:00:00.000-07:00

week #3

daisies

2008-09-12T15:31:00.000-07:00

like omg it's my womb!

2008-09-12T14:19:00.000-07:00

mr. dimarcellis

2008-09-07T16:19:00.000-07:00

reintroduced to this guys work. pretty twisted---just how i like it:

Also of note, mccain is keeping palin's rack in check:

2008-09-03T21:53:00.000-07:00

hoisting

nightin(re)gale

2008-08-27T10:03:00.000-07:00

photo by: michael stevenson

well, are you?

roller jams

2008-08-26T19:47:00.000-07:00

when i was a kid i used to frequent this amazing suburban skate joint called SPARKLES. many a birthday party were spent doing lap after delirious lap around that rink, high as a kite on cake and candy. and it was at SPARKLES where i heard this song for the first time. truly truly a fond memory this song brings:

back light

2008-08-21T20:33:00.001-07:00

finger groit

2008-08-18T11:01:00.000-07:00

hither

2008-08-12T17:12:00.000-07:00

from time to time i lean on video store clerks for completely out there/random film knowledge. i always find the interaction amusing, take for instance my recent inquiry with my neighborhood video store clerk (over the phone, mind you) about this film. i could not for the life of me remember an actors name, directors name, where it was shot (other than in the UK) nothing nothing nothing.

i've seen this film before, so equipped with my stellar memory for details (obviously not for important things such as the basic title of the film) i began to describe the film to the clerk:
'it was shot in the UK and i rented it from y'all about 2 yrs ago, the main characters are a man and a woman that attend rock conc..."
he interrupts me, and with astute confidence and says, '9 songs'
"yes! yes! yes! that's it! that wasn't so bad, now was it?"-- feeling mildly guilty that i potentially sounded like every other nim rod that calls with an obtusely vague title request.
i was then praised for my taste and asked if i was coming in to get it, with a hint of a wink in his tone.

although it has countless gratuitous sex scenes, butt up against rock show footage, knee deep with pretension and elitism... the film has a sold raw nature that is clearly based on the excellent chemistry between the actors.

dos

2008-08-08T09:53:00.000-07:00

007 gold body rock

2008-08-07T09:13:00.000-07:00

strange lights

Oh, I know all of your tricks

2008-08-04T19:56:00.000-07:00

barnism

Steep roofs aslant, minutely tiled,
Tilted honeycombs, thunderhead blue
Richard Sáez

sunday in chicago

2008-08-03T16:43:00.001-07:00

2008-07-28T21:08:00.000-07:00

concrete dwellers

2008-07-28T13:38:00.000-07:00

morning ride # 4

2008-07-24T08:47:00.001-07:00

liondrae was feeling rather emo this morning:
atlas sound: 'river card'

grizzly bear: 'while you wait for the others'

bruce mackay: 'feet of clay'

papercuts: 'found bird'

seeds: 'can't seem to make you mine'

'river card' made the potholed stretch down grand ave. a little more bearable.

orange crush

2008-07-18T20:45:00.000-07:00

my porn

2008-07-17T08:08:00.000-07:00

Rozan & Schmeltz

ghetto glass graham

2008-07-16T22:31:00.000-07:00

+

÷

=

summer time

i want to put lil anthony in my pocket

2008-07-14T07:51:00.000-07:00

blueberry run ons

2008-07-05T07:02:00.000-07:00

i was anticipating this film-- ever since i read a review on some random fan blog for wong kar wai, with clenched teeth and wringing hands. then i forgot about it, completely. my fondness for his films obviously go back to 'in the mood for love'. who doesn't like that movie? i suppose i could be lumped in with various culture leeches of my age group who lean towards: m. barney, all things berlinian, and a penchant for using phrases like 'mise en place' at the correct time. i am a character of myself. i know this. i embrace it. so after having seen 'in the mood for love', i was given a dubbed copy of '2046' --coincidentally my home address ,which i suppose gives me cool points in some dorky film circles. i watched '2046' once, this was about 3yrs ago. i wanted to feel the pang and longing with that film as much as i had for 'in the mood' but it wasn't there, it was posturing too much. i thoroughly enjoyed it, don't get me wrong, maybe it was the company i had when i viewed '2046'. in any case i walked into my local video rental store and saw 'my blueberry nights' in the to be shelved pile-
i thought to myself, "holy crap, i totally forgot about this!!... and wait.... the cover... IT'S HORRIBLE!!! the colors the pictures, WTF?!" i commented to the clerk who for the most part has great taste in movies (or we share common favorites) and asked if he had seen it yet. he had not, due to having just returned from tour with his band.
i decided to go with another film that night, but had my sights set on renting it next time in.

i went back a few nights later and rented 'my blueberry nights' much to the chagrin of the other clerk that keeps kool at the store.
what i found was shot upon shot of this:

the quintessential notion that portends drippy lust and imbued blueberry forlornness. great, now i want blueberry pie. its 4th july, who in the hell would have blueberry pie at 3am? i also was taken aback by chan marshall's part--- small and quiet. not sure what mr. kar wai was thinking in his casting process. is he the new woody allen of luring young beautiful women of modest (read: no) acting experience? everything was beautiful as expected, even though kar wai strayed from his tried and true cinematographer. and of course you could pause the movie at any frame and it would be a gorgeous still. jude was fine, the music was lush and languid. the pace creeped slow, rocking chair slow.
i recommend it, if anything to hear rachel weitz give her best southern accent splay.

morning ride 3

2008-06-27T08:17:00.000-07:00

'female of the species' - space

'california soul'- marlena shaw (diplo remix)

'ride'- bitch ass darius

'to sir with love'- lulu

'everlasting love'- smokey robinson

also, may i highly recommend 'a bureaucratic desire for revenge (part 2)' by earth, when you're doing crunches at the gym. really gives you that extra pussssh.

bientôt l'hiver sera ici

2008-06-22T18:59:00.001-07:00

biking back from the library, trying to immerse myself in the tardiest season of them all i listened to this: http://radiohour.org.
i got to the point where townes starts crooning (from johnny's birthday show) about waitin' round to die, and somehow it was fitting for the long stretch of van buren i was biking. the post rain air outside was indescribable, but i will do my best,
wet oil, mixed slightly with moist sewage, topped off with your standard grass and sweat aromas. the sky was aching blue and some of the rain clouds were serendipitously looming about... waitin' round to rain.

pouvez vous dire hippie?

2008-06-17T12:48:00.000-07:00

started wearing patchouli deodorant

learning how to make my own kombucha

and i've been listening to this nonstop:

peaches en regalia

summer is here!

new old crush

2008-06-16T14:23:00.000-07:00

i hereby declare june, jacques dutronc month:

holy shit balls is he fine.

ninety degrees 'neath the trees where it's shady

2008-06-12T08:53:00.000-07:00

my recent trip to LA gave me some new memories, but i was also rife with nostalgia for the days when i lived and bummed around huntington beach,ca in 2000. poking around on the internet the other day, i found a soul mix made by one of the dj's that would play on 'good foot' night at the bar que sera in long beach. some of my best memories of dancing, sweating, and swaying happened on those nights that summer in cali.

another thing that has caught my eye as of late:

lifted from my bros blog, i found it leaving me wanting more. what happens next?! several times i thought about fast forwarding it ---'just hurry up already', but i waited, i was patient. it made me think about the frenetic pace i keep, and the anxiousness i inevitably have (hence the name of this blog) speeding up-- rushing. if i stop and enjoy the here and now, the end is always that much more fulfilling. don't you think?
c'était un rendez-vous

i'm going to feel this way until i don't feel this way anymore

2008-05-30T09:29:00.000-07:00

if any of you know me, you may have heard me talk about the movie tootsie before. not exactly sure why, but it is hands down one of my favorite movies of all time. which is one of the reasons why i was very sad to hear the news of sydney pollack dying recently. truly a righteous, director, producer all around human being. rest in peace.

let me count the ways...

2008-05-22T09:09:00.000-07:00

how i love thee:

bump day

2008-05-21T09:21:00.000-07:00

thanks to s. dilworth for the clip

morning ride 2

2008-05-15T07:29:00.001-07:00

weather: sunny, clear, WINDY
liondrae on shuffle:

'caroline goodbye' by colin blundstone
'harmony 3' by spiritualized
'how green was my valley' by jack rose
'winn coma' by boss hog
'the ditch' by bloood on the wall
'etheric device' by glass candy

collage by: alexis mackenzie

morning ride

2008-05-12T11:14:00.000-07:00

'ghouls night out' by the misfits
'royal flush' by big boi and andre 3000 feat. raekwon
'akrobatik' by rob wonder (dj mix)
'beautiful' by snoop dog
'night of the living dead' by the misfits
'so many frequencies' by midnight juggernauts

liondrae (my i-pod) was crankin/shufflin out some rock rap jamz!

conjunction gumption

2008-05-04T16:20:00.000-07:00

take note: this band, i hereby predict will have a song on grey's anatomy or in a car commercial in about six months. but please do not let this steer you away from listening, downloading, and/or enjoying them. midnight juggernauts... ah with their count chocula meets ziggy stardust era vocals-- and add a dash of andy gibb la la la for good measure. synth-phonic melodies and tight as a pursed pair of preachers lips -- drumming, i was thoroughly wrapped in pop, 808, boom bliss at their live performance.

dystopia

gondwanaland u.s.a.

2008-04-29T14:00:00.000-07:00

remember my buddy tod? well he's been cooking up some incredible, magical, tree fort style stuff over at the MASS MoCA. if you live in the boston, rhode island, or heck, even the new england area, i highly recommend you check it out.
hi-five tod! you're tops!!!

more here:
http://suckapants.com/2008/04/kids-with-power-tools.html

life ain't a track meet, it's a marathon

2008-04-28T20:52:00.000-07:00

finally got around to watching some maya deren this past weekend. why i kept putting it off is beyond me- truly amazing work! maya was an extraordinary filmaker, writer, and all around inspiration to those who were fortunate enough to be in her presence. she grew up in the ukraine till the age of 5 then with her family moved to the u.s. from an early age she was vivacious, loud, and very outspoken. carrying this bravado and spark to her studies at Smith college she received a master's in english lit. after working as a secretary for a dance company she started to develop an interest in filmmaking. her first films dealt with light, mirrors, and water and there relation to the human body and movement. down the road she received a guggenheim grant which she used to travel to haiti for research and to film. thus embarking on several sojourns to shed light on voodoo practices, and rhythmic drumming/dancing prevalent within haitian culture and religion. she shot countless hours of footage only to end up writing a book: divine horsemen: the living gods of haiti.

one of her last films the very eye of night, is simply gorgeous and mesmerizing:

i forgot more than you will ever know

2008-04-05T16:03:00.000-07:00

i went to a great short film screening friday. the screening was comprised of 7 short films (all 16mm) by director ben rivers--- a shy, whispy, and ruddy cheeked brit with a pentachant to ramble and flail, but all in all a seemingly passionate and genuine individual. my research prior to the screening unearthed a pleasant surprise, several years ago he directed a music video for amon tobin-slowly. when i brought his video experience up he was shocked that i knew about it; and swore up and down how much he loathed doing them, but in the end it's essentially what pays the bills and he only does them for good friends.
if only my career sacrifices were so easy...
looking at several other amon tobin videos i came across one
by floria sigismondi- 4 ton mantis:

the more i watched it, the more it reminded me of the photographer dar io villalba:

also i see similarities with this recent video for the kills:

and last but not least this piece by dash snow came to mind as well:

floria has hands down been one of my favorite directors since...
i recall one time i was visiting my brother when he was a producer at arnold in boston. i was about 15 and probably a handful. he was stuck in meetings during my office visit, so the best babysitter he could muster was plopping me down to view a stack of directors reels. at the top of the heap was floria's reel.
the whole concept of watching a directors reel was completely foreign, but also extremely intriguing. most reels are comprised of ads, but a good nugget have music videos on them. at it's best it's like watching the salad days of mtv's 120 minutes-- uninterrupted.
those 'babysitting' sessions essentially solidified my interest and desire to pursue something, anything, that would get me closer to these directors and this world they were showing the rest of us with their lens.

grin-din', when you know what I keep in a lining

2008-04-04T09:52:00.000-07:00

today these are a few things that have been shuffling around the ol noggin---->

all these freaking books! this image is from an abandoned russian library. countless adventures via tomes to sift through, plus the stories those chipped paint walls could tell:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JyRAHKTy6hI

"While many documentaries tend to discuss subjects well past the studied time frame, director Aaron Rose, also the co-curator of the original art exhibit, wanted to examine this movement while it was still happening. The approach gives the film a welcome immediacy and avoids much of the back-in-the-day pitfalls that can plague any story being told through the often rose(ed. note: har har)-colored lens of hindsight. That's not to say there isn't a healthy dose of nostalgia for the days these artists gathered in New York's Alleged Gallery on the Lower East Side as a group of youthful unknowns, but a good portion of the film also looks at their more recent transition from art world nobodies to working with high profile brands and having work displayed in major galleries and museums around the world."

R.I.P. frosty freeze:

"Frosty Freeze who helped inspire a worldwide break-dancing craze in the early 1980s as a member of the influential group Rock Steady Crew, died on Thursday in Manhattan.
He was then featured in early hip-hop music videos, including Malcolm McLaren’s "Buffalo Gals," and performed in films about hip-hop culture, including the groundbreaking 1983 documentary “Style Wars” and the 1983 feature film “Wild Style.” But it was his appearance in the 1983 hit movie “Flashdance,” with Jennifer Beals, that brought him recognition around the world and helped introduce break dancing to mainstream popular culture."

happy place

2008-03-27T13:03:00.001-07:00

many of us long and dream for a place that may or may not exist, especially when the weather is grody or when we're having a particularly bad day. two good friends of mine were discussing what our happy place would be like. here they are----->

good friend #1:
"i imagine the inside of the easter bunny's basket being some sort of dreamy mini universe that marries willy wonka's chocolate factory and seurat's "a sunday afternoon on the island of la grande jatte ". add the coug in there somewhere (we don't have to intereact... i just feel comfortable that he's there...and might strum a song or too) and i'm set."

good friend #2
"...i think that right now, i guess, it would be beruit singing for me at a lake house with warm weather and bike trails through forrests, swimming and a tree swing, campfires and grill outs and friends.

or maybe i just want it to be summer..."

as for me:
reading the sunday nytimes in bed, with a chocolate croissant, vanilla soy latte (both on a super fancy bed tray), 1000 thread count sheets, cashmere socks and worn out flannel pj's, some sort of chill music (think silje nes or beach house etc.) the smell of lavendar in the air and maybe some birds chirpin', even though its raining (in my happy place it always rains) OH! and a puppy -- gotta have a puppy.

shit, i'm such a product of my demographic.

what's yours like?

no use pretending

2008-03-10T19:48:00.000-07:00

in my lifetime i've maybe listened to this song about 20x. not that many repeats in comparison to other songs i've obsessed over. but this one, this one hangs, swells and drips. i really don't want to listen to it too many times, for the fear that the feeling i get when i listen to it will go away. i think the feeling will always be there, much like my love for raw peanut butter and apples or the smell of magnolias. however, i think the more passes it makes on my ears the softer and more tangible it will become. mystery and elusiveness are essentially what drive our intrigue, then once it turns into a studied or understood thing we move on. especially in our ever evolving and disposable state of consumerism and culture.

i read an interesting excerpt from another blog that mentioned mp3's vs cd's. cd's are a commitment to an album for its customer, whereas an mp3 is a one hitter. the unfortunate conclusion the author came to; is that the music industry is making songs more disposable. this is so we will grow tired of that singular hit thus creating a need for more mp3's, maybe by the same artist, maybe a different one all together, as long as the need/demand/urge is met.

this song, the one you are about to download from here, is not that kind of mp3. in fact if i was able to hand each and every one of you a cassette, 7inch, or cd of this song i would, just so you wouldn't think of it as disposable. because in all honesty this song deserves more than that.

c. blunstone-caroline goodbye

friday: let's dance!

2008-03-07T09:47:00.000-08:00

wood, spray and paste

2008-03-03T09:31:00.000-08:00

"natural style"

as opposed to your usual spray paint graffiti, garners a warm place in my heart. my early fascination with graffiti began back in atlanta when i used to lurk around truck yards and abandoned buildings taking pictures of the local talent: totem, hense and sever being my favorites:

hense/sever

totem/mr. fangs

so you can imagine my delighted surprise when i noticed this
in my hood last night :

it's the perfect way to reflect urban culture while making a nod to another genre of art, totems! think about it, totems are erected to ward off bad spirits, symbolically represent the status of a family, or to serve as a memorial to a loved one.
how meta! this telephone-totem pole could be a few of those things:

keep the rats at bay (notice the rat warning posted ever so close to the visage of the totem fella), a sign of gentrification for the neighborhood or simply an artistic whim.

other natural urban artists that i enjoy are:

chris uphues:

one of my all time favorites, swoon:

i suppose i say natural as opposed to straight up graffiti, because as i write this i realize this 'natural style' itself is becoming the norm for graff artists. not having access to spray paint, (especially here in chicago, buying spray paint means a trip to the burbs); or maybe being more sculpturally inclined as opposed to having a sprayin urge could be the reasoning.

another favorite is the work the barnstormer collective puts out:

no body knows it

2008-02-23T17:04:00.000-08:00

...but i think cap. & toni are tops! travolta is totally leaning on his perfectly feathered coiffure to make up for his blood-hound-wrong-key tone.

tinted lenses on the times

2008-02-21T20:22:00.000-08:00

god help me for being in love with a 66 yr old man and a man that wears pajamas to art openings:

schnabel and rose

schnabel's colored oil sprawl on a nautical map:

navigation drawings opening

bonus round:

another another

2008-02-18T15:40:00.000-08:00

another one of those universe-in-transition-uranus-in-mars'-backyard, past few days. no mechanical woes or botched relations. quite the contrary. a band that i had scoured the internet for hours trying to remember the name of, (british band from the 90's, was what i was working with) made itself known to my elated surprise. a friend randomly had the cd lying on the floor, staring up at me to say, "hey you know me! we go way back, how could you forget my name?!".
received 3 'long time no talk, how are you' emails from 3 very different unrelated people. these are all good things. good good things. mending healing and discovering gomez on the floor of someones office are all in alignment with one another.

tellin' it how it is:

irma

graham central station

trip in the wayback machine

2008-02-11T20:02:00.000-08:00

+

=

'naner puddin' from feed.
dang-o!!

land of the heartless

2008-02-02T10:30:00.001-08:00

riding on the bus the other night, slightly nodding off with the coo of
autoclave in my ears. i look over to my left and notice a young fellow, early twenties rocking a serious albino bone thugs n' harmony hairdo. he sheepishly smiles at me a few times, but i'm so delirious that i don't pay too much attention. i do start to notice that he is feverishly typing and re-typing some serious text message: perhaps to his fellow bone thug friend? to his sister telling her to pick up more kitty litter for their cat named lawrence withers? quickly he completes his text and thrusts his arm in my line of vision and the text reads:

HI! ARE YOU MARRIED? IF NOT DO YOU WANT TO GO OUT? YOU ARE PRETTY.

a flush took over my face, i grinned and said i have a boyfriend, but thanked him all the same. all of this was said to him in a sort of deaf voice, as i was still wearing my headphones. i then felt very awkward, not for myself but for this young guy. i give credit to all the young mens hustling via CTA vehicular woo.

3 times a lady

2008-01-28T14:29:00.000-08:00

last week i was twirled by three different people (boys and girls!) on three different days while cuttin' a rug.

highly recommend all of you getting twirled.

this is epic

2008-01-28T14:20:00.000-08:00

who's dat producer eh?

has it come to this?

2008-01-25T13:16:00.000-08:00

at the office i've been involved in a project that has no money in the budget so its been rough trying to make things work.

last night my dream stopped in the middle because i didn't have enough money in the budget for the whole dream.

tears and tears

2008-01-21T21:21:00.001-08:00

Listen to this interview with the author of "Listening is an Act of Love", a book about StoryCorps, one of the largest oral history projects ever in America. These hartfelt and precious stories will knock you on your tush all while opening the floodgates.

<Right click on the link and "download linked file" or just stream it.>
http://www.publicbroadcasting.net/wabe/.jukebox?action=programs&sortBy=program&browseProgramId=200048

bootsy's night out

2008-01-19T15:26:00.000-08:00

it was sort of a blur, which i knew it would be.
i ended up playing:

earth wind and fire- shining star
the fatback band- wicki wacky
!!!- intensify
busy signals- plastic girl

there were perhaps 3-4 others, but i honestly don't remember what they were. i was not only doing this for the first time in about 2yrs, but i also was getting newly acquainted with serato. no real train wrecks, but no real beat matching either. all in all a good experience--- and thank sweet baby jesus, reaches was there to hold my hand.
i would like to do it again, preferably with several more hours of practice under my belt.

tonight:
icosium kafe

i'm looking right at you cheka chouka, you are going to be all mine tonight.

trend analysis

2008-01-16T07:22:00.000-08:00

most best

2008-01-09T07:33:00.000-08:00

here, in no particular order are some top tens from 2doubleOH7:

1. becoming a godmother
2. having my niece do 'knuckles' with me
3. apple picking with friends
4. out of town guests
5. trip to nyc
6. philip glass picnic (the company was what made the experience)
7. meeting and making new friends
8. putting to rest old demons
9. new job
10. the silver fox surprising me on my bday and all the work that went into that production
10. 5. health, love and happiness (i am very lucky)

top ten albums from 2007 that i listened to nonstop:

1. king khan and bbq show
2. king khan and the shrines
3. david vandervelde
4. dr. dog
5. dodo (bird)
6.busy signals
7.cass mccombs
8.free blood
9. sleeping states
10. phosphorescent
10.5. the cool kids

what about you ?

alis volat propriis

2008-01-08T07:22:00.001-08:00

the voice and the fine lines are comforting... the message is not bad either:

Drawing from New Sources

annual telepathe

2008-01-02T13:06:00.000-08:00

ill again, and i won't blame it on the cat or the late evenings or the sniffles of sadie and bax. i've decided its my body's meta meta way of cleaning out 2007 via my nose and throat.
i also think nyc infects me every time i visit. it's deep and lingering-- and i shouldn't have waited 3 yrs to contract/visit it either.
its blinding here in chicago, the kind that makes you squint when you open the door, and take in the morning. i need that perspective; far too often have i looked at things with an over analytical-- wideness ocular view. going to take it all in, but only through an sieve-y eye's worth.

wishing health, happiness and comfort to all this new year.

this is dedicated to the jetblue telephone operators (jolene and dolly) that helped me with my travels this holiday:

seriously

2007-12-11T13:45:00.000-08:00

how fucking awesome is badfinger?!

everyday

2007-12-07T15:26:00.000-08:00

plastic pantomime

2007-11-28T11:56:00.001-08:00

Some of you may already know I have a bit of a fascination/obsession (lots of those these days) with Mike Albo. Recently he wrote an excellent piece in the NYTimes Style Magazine about the archipelago of Los Roques. It's about time he got a luxury assignment, as opposed to his usual fawning over the newest overpriced boutiques, generally located in the meat packing district, and consistently walking out with some sort of drastically marked up thermal shirt.

If you have never seen any of his skits and/or performance pieces, I beg of you to watch at least one:

More can be found here:
http://mikealbo.com/performance

my love affair continues

2007-11-20T12:28:00.000-08:00

my obsession for mr. schnabel started at a young age. i would pour over art books and magazines looking at his cracked plates scattered over crimson canvases, daydreaming about him in his bathrobe. then, he made a seamless transition to film with basquiat, that i quote on the regular, "i don't like beeeeer" (cuz I really don't). before night falls makes me long for a lazy night in cuba (although it was shot mostly in the caribbean), the cinematography paints a portrait of blown out blues and greens that i've never seen.

the other night we were sitting pretty impatiently through some lack luster trailers i.e. funny games
then suddenly i saw the logo for pathé the french production company, and knew the next trailer would be a treat:

50k magic!

2007-11-16T12:18:00.000-08:00

if you are having a downer day, i challenge you to watch this and not smile.
go on just try.
compliments of amy:

also I found my husband:
http://the2husbands.com/husbands/tanner

sometimes...

2007-11-13T14:28:00.001-08:00

but very rarely i do.

¿el wehre es los sujetadores completados?

2007-11-10T16:43:00.000-08:00

today i went to an indoor flea market with a canadian, a swiss and a local illinoisan to partake in the world of radical treasures and culture that only a super mercado emporiano could offer.

things i saw:

-pair of ladies underwear that said "welcome to paradise" on the elastic band accompanied with rhinestones spelling out the number 69 emblazoned on the front.
-a belt buckle that doubled as a flask
-a pair of teens (no more than 12 yrs old) playing an intense game of tonsil hockey by the bathrooms
-a t-shirt with the virgin mary lovingly holding the city of chicago in her hands
- a poster with the pope kissing the virgin mary on the hand (mary totally gets around at the flea market)
-a pair of boots made from stingrays

things i bought:

-pina colada flavored halls lozenges
-cherry lip balm
-cell phone cover
-2 bras
= $22

things i ate:
- a few bites of some amazing tres leches cake with gelatinous fruit on top
-one of those corn fried wheels (i don't know the name), but it was damn greasy going down

SUPER AWESOME DAY!!!!

on another note... i saw this video the other day on someone else's blog and i thought after watching it that i just had to post it here:

to be seen

2007-11-06T20:08:00.001-08:00

despite my efforts to maintain a personal film viewing inventory, rich with diversity and exemplary skills in the art of film making... i have never seen a herzog movie--- gasp!!! i know, i know, its simply rotten of me to proclaim a love of documentary film making and still i have not viewed one of the true masters within the documentary film genre. i can't say i recall having ever heard a disparaging comment on his works, always the contrary--- fascination and intrigue come to mind when he is mentioned.

so i have plotted my first viewing of his works to be fitzcarraldo. has anyone out there in the blog-o-sphere seen it? do you recommend another one of his films to deflower mine eyes and ears?

on another note:

"The best way to see through muddy waters is to give them a chance to settle."

my newish second home

2007-11-06T20:06:00.001-08:00

have i met you before?

2007-10-19T20:19:00.001-07:00

the new job has requested i find tv, internet, or music video examples of what i think is cool, hip, or eye catching. ahhh to be the target demographic. searching for this kind of stuff is actually the sort of thing that really gets me giddy.
this find began with looking at the justice d.a.n.c.e. video (2nd clip) awhile back, then noticing the excuse moi video by katherine (3rd clip) was similar. typography seems to be one of the main characters on display for the overall aestethic in both videos. the basement jaxx video (1st clip) was actually a coincedence to this type trifecta as i was merely looking at the historical reel of the director.

then it goes to this---->

then (in case you missed it in my last post)--->

this next set is more the result of a director (olivier gondry) failing to create more ideas. instead he is recycling them into music videos via a tv spot or vice versa---->

http://partizan.com/partizan/commercials/?olivier_gondry

click on NATIONWIDE then watch this:

see some similarities???

then this:

http://partizan.com/partizan/commercials/?olivier_gondry
watch HUYNDAI

and then ...

panty raid

2007-10-09T13:30:00.001-07:00

some frenchies taking a well executed stab at illustration and video.

why waste your time?

2007-09-26T09:31:00.000-07:00

by:jen stark

>>>>droppin the ill writ<<<<

xxx dreams

2007-09-26T08:28:00.000-07:00

obvious note:

don't look at hamster nest or any of dash snow's work right before falling asleep, unless you want some whacked out nocturnal ridonkulussness.

you make me weak

2007-09-22T13:43:00.000-07:00

my temperature spiked to 102.6 last night, so i immediately called my dear sweet neighborfriend to bring some aspirin over to help break it. to pass the time (and my anxiety) i laid on my bed with a cold damp cloth on my chest, in the hopes that it would cool me off. i started to sort of pass in and out, then i hear my phone ring and it's the aspirin at the door. with my mr. burns stance and no equilibrium, i grab a shirt nearby, button up and go to the front door. i give the nice man some money and look down and have managed to miss almost every correct hole and corresponding button, turning my shirt into an origami 2yr old dressing herself mess thus exposing my funbag(s?!) i thanked the lad and proceed to my igloo room to pass out again.

paper signal

2007-09-19T13:47:00.000-07:00

Hectic schedules on both ends of the blogosphere have kept John and myself quite busy. So it was a pleasant departure to be able to mill about the internets and stumble upon these quirky gems. Hi five for oddities exposed on the www.

Discovery of the Day

Today Boing Boing posted a link to a site that had scanned a few of what are called QSL cards. These are little trophies for amateur radio operators; be it ham, cb, shortwave, or what-have-you. When an amateur operator in, say, Minnesota would make contact with someone in Mongolia and they were friendly enough he or she would give his address to them so they could receive a QSL card and vice versa. So, each one represents a feather in the hat for the operator. Jody Foster’s character in CONTACT gets one at the beginning of that film

So I did some digging around and found this enormous treasure trove of them from all over the world (There’s even a section for countries that no longer exist!). The designs jaw-dropping: from sleek Soviet to hillbilly scrawl. So, here’s your interweb rabbit hole of the day – have fun and hopefully you’ll find one to steal for your bands next flier!
+++++++++++++

+++++++++++++

++++++++++++

post 27 club.

2007-09-18T09:29:00.000-07:00

"Saturn strips away illusions and points out limitations, allowing you to view yourself in a harsh, often unflattering light. At the same time, it endows you with prudence, practicality, and the perseverance to work hard toward achieving your purposes. Consequently, this is a good time to rearrange your career or lay the foundation for a new one.

Saturn. . . is never easy to deal with because his function is that of promoting growth."

>>saturn return<<

perhaps this could explain:

.my cell phone dying
.my work phone dying
.my work email crashing
.my new job
.people coming out of the woodwork
.unexplained drama drama

bob ya head

2007-09-18T09:05:00.000-07:00

maths

2007-09-12T13:48:00.000-07:00

things i learned from a brief xylor jane interview:

+ gematria
+ natural division
+ ambidextrous folks usually favor a certain hand
+ in the orange county public school system they take students to disney land on field trips instead of museums
+ even though some people grow up in a rigorous religious environment, and eventually move past that way of thinking, the original religious principles still haunt you

midnight flash

2007-09-11T12:53:00.001-07:00

+++++
by: joss mckinley