deep guns

'if you've never wanted to kill your mate, you've never been in love.'
c. rock

i heard that quote on the radio this morning... wait i should come clean on this. i listen the the most absolutely asinine radio program in the morning while i get ready for work. no really. so ridiculous and indulgent that i won't say exactly which station it is ---but it's on the wrong end of the dial.
so, i heard a comedy bit on the radio about (spouses mostly) relationships, and this quote is what resonated most with me. from all the stories i've heard about breakups and falling in love --- the notion of wanting to kill the person you're with made the most sense. call me morbid, but it's a very black and white concept for such a grey emotion/verb etc.
recently i had a long conversation with a dear friend about love and how it's such an irrational emotion. you do the most mentally unbalanced things, all without reservation. this friend who is one of the more logical and sensible people i know, mentioned his current love and how he felt feelings of rage and disdain when certain topics (of the jealous variety) came up.
IT IS chaotic and messy and hopeless and splattered and complicated and twisted and pure and simple and sordid... but i can't say i know what that feels like. it has escaped me.
that's why i question mating for life or marriage. is love a social confine that was invented to keep us on a path to procreation? or is it really just this idea/feeling that happens, and is there for no good reason?

'don't be the magician be magic'

self diagnosis:
magical thinking


on another completely seperate note... go rent the movie control. finally got around to watching it this weekend. sweet, sublime and an achingly poignant portrait of the plight. the plight, that is, settling down too early in life--- then realizing you are in fact NOT with the one you should be with and realizing you're eternally screwed (anyone know a good divorce lawyer?) with this person. AND now you have this child...
ian, sufferer of epileptic fits and a condition known as complacency.
are we supposed to be with just one person our whole life? is it in our nature?

why i love my classmates: reason #1

How did triumphal arches serve the Roman Empire?

"Dude!!! arches were the bee's knee's, the pirates patch, a box to a hobo.... the arch could easily span like 10 times more than a pair of columns, that's like a thousand babies laying head to toe in the middle of an expressway. The arch put Roams it's political point of view, in a physical mass or object. You look at the arch you you think "wow, these guy's aren't playing" and Don't get me wrong, i love columns but the arch is amazing."

and in the morning comes...

you don't need to be so honest

if life were only just:

vs.

all signs point to...

yes, yes you are.

timely a trip to the pnw.
siped a cider upon my return.
the casual calm i had picked up yonder,
quickly dissolved by midday wednesday.


on the farm, every friday
on the farm, it's rabbit pie day,
so, every friday that ever comes along,
i get up early and sing this little song
run rabbit - run rabbit - run! run! run!